Every Christmas since Carter's... second, I think... we've baked a "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake.

I KNOW! It sounds super hokey. But we really like it. In the middle of a day full of craziness and toys and travel and excess - it's something the kids get really excited about. It'll break their attention from whatever new shiny thing they're playing with for a few minutes so we can at least acknowledge "the reason for the season".

The only problem is, I think it's messing with the kids heads.

Yesterday Carter, Cousin G, Kiki, and I were driving in to town to pick up a wedding present for a co-worker of Joe's. The boys were in the backseat discussing their plans for the evening (Wii LEGO Batman, and lots of it) when suddenly one of them said "Is Jesus dead? We haven't seen him in a while."

After I stopped giggling we discussed how Jesus had died, then was ressurected, and now he lives with Heavenly Father. And then we talked about how he was going to come back "someday". Well the boys decided that he'll probably come to our house when he comes back to earth.

"And the door had better be unlocked. Because if it's not, He'll have to come down the chimney."

Apostles. Reindeer. What's the difference, right?

I'm going to do the March Of Dimes March for Babies this year.

Every year I think about doing it, but never actually get around to going. Or even signing up.

Last year I donated to someone else's team though, and was sent a reminder in the mail. Our walk date is April 10th. A 3 mile stroll. I've signed up. I've even recruited three local friends to walk with me. We're the Canopy Roads team. Of course.

My fundraising goal is super modest. Just $50. But, it's something. I'm excited.

(If you want to donate, you can click on that ticker thing on my sidebar. OR! Sign up and walk in your area! It's easy. It's for a good cause. And it's great exercise!)

Kara got her glasses today.

I'm super emotional about it all, for a couple of reasons.

The most obvious is probably because of my own scars. I had some seriously thick glasses all the way to ninth grade. Or maybe even tenth... I'm not sure which. Either way, they were terrible. I didn't care much as a kid. I'd had them since I was too small to remember life without them. But as I got into my pre and early teens, I HATED them. I felt like they were all anyone saw, and I don't want that for my daughter. I know it's more normal now, and that helps. Carter has three other kids in his class with glasses. More kids are screened early for vision problems, so their issues don't have to be as pronounced as mine (and his, and hers) are for parents to get their kid in glasses. But I still worry. About both kids... but more about Kara. My beautiful daughter. I can't stand the thought of her feeling ugly.

But. Something I didn't expect happened this morning, and revisiting the event brings me to tears every time.

I had been asked to get Kara's reaction to seeing for the first time on video, so I made sure I had my phone at the ready as the optometrist put the glasses on her. I had Kara on my lap facing away from me and I couldn't see her face myself, so I am thankful to have that clip to watch. She smiled sweetly and looked a little dazzled. But I only recorded for a few seconds and then I put the camera down. Just after I did, Kara turned around and looked at me. She looked a little puzzled, until I said "Hi, baby", and the expression on her face... She blinked, and then her eyes went wide, and focused on mine. Her face just... there's no way to describe it. I would say "lit up", but that doesn't do it justice. Her face... it shone. She SAW me, clearly, for the first time.

I got to see that snap of recognition. When she knew me. When she realized how different everything is from what she's been seeing, because the face she's looked up at for 15 months suddenly transformed from fuzzily familiar to having actual features. Her whole world changed in that second, when she looked at me.

Not unlike the first time I looked at her.

I'm so glad, so grateful, I could give that to her. And, I suppose, it helps me keep in mind how silly it is to worry about what other people see as they look at her... especially when I've witnessed what it's like for her to see, when she looks at them.

Long story short.

I gave up diet coke.

I gained NINE POUNDS.

I've picked up several kinds of tea, and am sweetening it with Stevia.

My Mari Winsor Pilates DVDs have been located.

I did the 20 Minute Workout today.

Shut up. 20 minutes is better than the 0 minutes I spent working out yesterday.

I'm counting points (AGAIN!).

My goal is another 20lbs lost in the next six months. So by my birthday (July 23), I'll be 20lbs lighter.

And STILL not drinking diet coke.

I just put the most random thing I've ever made in the oven. It takes an hour to prepare. I hope it's good, because there is a LOT of it.

Want some back story? Good!

A few weeks ago Joe and I decided to Dave Ramsey it up for real. Joe makes too much money for us to wonder where the heck it all goes, so we sat down and budgeted every expense and cut back on the obvious over-spenders. Like television... (And don't think turning off HBO and the other movie channels was easy. We don't get any of that anymore. We don't even get TBS! Or TNT! We have had to start READING at night...) and food. Well, more specifically, groceries.

I'm kind of a spaz about spending money. I don't earn any, and I have some awful guilt about spending any. I do not shop. I will joke about shopping, but when I really do need something for myself, I will only buy it on sale. With a discount card. But groceries - groceries are for the family. We need groceries. So I can go to WalMart four or five times a week and drop a large chunk of cash every time on groceries... and assorted other "necessary items" I find while I'm there.

Hey this is getting long.

ANYWAY.

Joe found this website called E-Mealz, and he looked at the sample menu and decided that this was the plan for us. So we signed up and picked our store (NOT WalMart, clearly) and I've been cooking their meals since.

And it's WORKING. I shopping off the list they gave me last week, and snagging coupons online, I spent $66 total on groceries this week. Including lunches and snacks. $66!

We've liked the large majority of the meals, and have even had some real winners (spicy pork tenderloin, meatball subs, and crock-pot burritos have gone over VERY well). But the chicken divan was disappointing, and I've decided the ranchero chicken soup won't be served here again.

And I have a bad feeling about what we're having for dinner tonight. It's called Veggie-Tot Casserole, or something. It begins with ground beef, then adds a couple cans of soup and Veg-All. Then the slices of processed cheese. And a layer of frozen tator tots.

MAYBE it will be good. It MIGHT taste kind of like a weird version of shepherds pie. But unwrapping the cheese made me feel... anxious... and I have this feeling Joe will deem it "crazy Northern cooking" and make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Good news is, I made some freaking fantastic cranberry cones earlier. If it IS crap, I can scarf every single one down instead of parcelling them out over the next few days.