I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet.

Well, kind of. I've bought some board games and a reading thing for Carter and a Melissa and Doug puzzle for Kiki. But that's all. Joe and I are supposed to go this week while he's off work and finish up. It won't take long - we've scaled Christmas back dramatically because everyone we know is broke. But more than that, we don't even know what to ask for. Carter wrote his letter to Santa the other day and it took him about thirty minutes to figure out he wanted Lego. He also asked for a Transformer toy, but that was sort of thrown in to round out a "list".

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As I'm writing this I've got our family Christmas video playing on the TV. Every December, since Carter and Cousin G were born - my sister-in-law and I have assembled the pictures we've taken through the year and made a slideshow. We make a thousand copies and send it to our families... and they either watch it or pretend to watch it. Last year it was an hour long. So even I pretended to watch most of it.

This year it's about 35 minutes, including some little video clips, and I think it's my best one ever. That could be because it's 70% Kara, 30% everyone else... but also, the music is perfect. The kids are happy. We had some big family events that it's just fun to revisit.

One of my favourite bits is the week when Joe came home from his deployment. Our little family spent the week in Destin, and on the Thursday we invited the rest of the family up to hang out with us on the bay. They played hooky from their jobs, and we rented a pontoon boat. Spent hours cruising around and playing on the giant sandbar that is Crab Island. We got burnt to a crisp, despite all the sunblock. But it was so much fun to be with everyone and out on the water. It's something I would love to make a family tradition out of.

So maybe I'll put THAT on my list.

A few of my very favourite people in the whole world are gathering together in Orlando this weekend.

Orlando. As in, just down the road.

They're coming from Ontario, and Washington state, and Wisconsin, and Jacksonville... Some have their kids and some are traveling alone.

We'd planned on going... looked forward to going. Joe, Carter, Kara and I were going to hit the road tonight, spend a beach day with them tomorrow, and be back on Saturday. Just a quick trip. But things have changed... and we're staying in town.

Well. I am. Joe's going to the base to do something or other. I don't know.

I'm really, really unhappy about it all. But it is what it is and I'm trying really hard to not lash out and inflict my sour mood on everyone.

Sigh.

Sucks.

Today is the LAST day of November.

The LAST day of NaBloPoMo.

And so I'm celebrating with this non-post post.

And another slice of pie.

I love pie.

Carter has had a very good long weekend.

Hours upon hours of time spent in the Man Room with Joe. Computer games, PS3 games, Wii games.

Family coming over.

A sleepover at his cousin G's house. (They built tents! And slept in them!)

Putting up the tree.

Pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

It caught up with him while we were decorating yesterday.

Sweet kid. It won't be long before he's too grown up to care about wearing a silly hat and hanging his ornaments.

I need to soak it all up.

I'm kind of obsessed with my Christmas tree.

It wasn't always like this. I used to not really care. But my first Christmas in college - when I came home all crammed full of interior design rules and ideas - I took over my mom's Christmas tree and pestered Jody so much about it being perfect, she eventually threw the ornaments at me and said she couldn't work with me if I was really going to be so anal about their placement.

That suited me fine. I WAS going to be super meticulous about the tree.

For a few blissful years, it's been essentially the same. Giant full tree Joe bought us our first Christmas. Red bows. Metallic garland that is deep red and the same green as the tree. White lights. Large red bow on top. White star. Silver and red glass balls in assorted sizes. Joe teases me about it and calls it the "Mall tree" because it looks like a display.

But it won't be that way for long.

These are taking over:



Every year since Carter was born, he's gotten a special ornament for Christmas. His first, my mom sent him. The second was from a friend in Texas. The third holds a picture of him as a tiny kid. His fourth Christmas - he began picking the ornaments out himself. So he has a penguin who's bottom half is a sleigh bell. It's noisy. Last year he chose a glittery airplane. This year - a sparkly train.

Kara has her own tiny collection as well. The butterfly Carter chose for her last year, and the snowflake I found a few days ago.



And finally... my special ornaments. One given to me by a very good friend the year we moved into this house. The other - painted by Carter at pre-kindergarten.



My plan has been to give the kids their ornament collections when they move out to their own homes. Then I can go back to my perfectly matched designer tree.

But I don't know I can part with them then. Meticulous as I am about my tree (and I AM... Carter only THINKS he's putting ornaments on the tree. I follow along behind and move them, making sure there's a perfect balance of red and silver, and the special ones are evenly distributed...) it means more to me to have a representation of their passing years, our life together, there on display. Carter's penguins. Kara's pretty, girly things. That crazy blue styrofoam ball, with it's gobs of glitter and paperclip hanger. They don't go with my colour scheme at all.

But I love them ridiculously.